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Abundance and Havingness

Submitted by on June 1, 2006 - 1:01 am

UP YOUR HAVINGNESS!

How much of what life has to offer are you willing to have? Lots of people come to me wanting greater abundance, better relationships, or to find their calling– and even though they are totally equipped and worthy, and solutions are possible, they just can’t have what they ask for. So how do you change this?

Let’s look at some examples of lack of havingness. Consider that some people:

* can have being rich, but they would be totally ashamed and hate themselves if they were poor
* can have being poor, but have judgments, victim mentality, or desires to fit in, which do not allow them to be rich
* can have a compliment, but argue or cry at even constructive criticism
* willingly accept criticism, but cannot take a compliment
* can have a relationship with that fascinating person across the country, but ignore all the attractive, available locals
* are “comfortable” in a boring job just getting by, but are “too busy” to pursue better opportunities that seem to fall in their lap

You get the picture? If you are not getting the money, love, recognition, progress, or things that you want, or if you’re feeling stuck in any way, ask yourself—

Considering all that is possible in life, how much can you have? Imagine a gauge from 0 to 100 percent that reflects your “havingness”—what # do you get?

If you notice that you can’t have all that is possible, and you’d like to have more, here are a few tips:

Start with your breath. Without trying to change anything, notice how you are breathing now? Is your “normal” breath shallow, quick, barely perceptible, or deep and full? Is it throat deep, chest deep, belly deep?

Now, let your next inhale become a deep, slow breath into your belly. Push your belly out as you inhale, then let the breath rise up to expand and fill your heart, your upper chest, and even your side ribs and back. Exhale out slowly. Is this different from your “normal” breath?

The breath is free. We can choose to receive fully, or we can receive only a fraction of what is available. You choose. Just as in life. Practice receiving more breath and see if you begin receiving more in life!

We often get stuck on not getting what we want. I often meet clients who say, “Help me, I don’t have a relationship.” They don’t realize the truth in what they are saying. Actually, there is no one, no thing, to whom they are NOT in relationship! But, as they say themselves, they are not “having” it. They are stuck in wanting, which is repellent to having, so they continue to be single.

People, especially here in Los Angeles, can get so caught up in competition. But when I look at who gets what they want in life– and more importantly who is happy– and it is NOT whoever is the best looking, most talented, or even the most connected. It is whoever can HAVE it.

Someone close to me has seen how my spiritual path has expanded and transformed my life in wonderful, joyous ways since childhood. When we are alone, she tells me of how she is uncertain about her purpose in life and asks my help. So, I invite her to come to any of my seminars for free. Does she come? Almost never. She knows very well the power of energy work and meditation, but she cannot have it. It is obviously not about the money for her.

Some people hear I do yoga, and say they’d love to try, but it’s too expensive. An unlimited yoga membership is around $125 a month. These people are desperate for stress relief, but choose to self-medicate with alcohol, cigarettes, or by going shopping. Let’s see—a pack of cigarettes a day costs around $150 a month. A bottle of wine every night might cost $200 a month. And you could easily spend $200 on just one pair of shoes! At best, cigarettes, wine, and shoes are only temporary “solutions” to our problems, and often create many new problems. But, some people can have these things much more easily than the incredible benefits of yoga. Why?

The truth is, most people are more afraid of change than they are of getting what they say they want.

Last summer I did a reading for a client at an Expo. She would ask me a question, listen to about half a sentence of my reply, and then cut me off and start ranting about her boyfriend, her doctor, and all the problems she was having. After a few minutes of this I inquired, “Do you want to hear what I see?” and then she caught herself. “Oh, yes,” she said. I think I got a full sentence in that time. She was obviously suffering, but so much of her problem was not her boyfriend or her doctor—it was her own inability to receive help, even the help she ASKED for and PAID for.

So, ask yourself: Can you up your havingness for what you want? No matter what it is that you want, watch the stories you tell yourself about why you cannot have it. See if those are really true. If possible, just for fun, see if you can consider that there may be ways to have whatever you want anyway.

Sometimes people say, “Should I do this or do that, buy this or buy that…” Often I look at them and say, “How about both?” and they go, “Really? I can do that?” YES. And all their “problems” are over.

Here’s another tip. If you want to be rich, it is much easier to achieve if you can have being poor. If you want to find your soul mate, it is much easier to succeed if you are happy alone. That doesn’t mean you choose being poor or alone. What it means is that your energy can flow freely towards what you want, because there is nothing you have to spend energy avoiding, hating or fighting off.

The more you can have, the more choice you have. If you would like to see where you are stuck and increase your havingness for something in your life, consider a reading as a gift to yourself. Namaste.

copyright 2006 Ann O’Brien- All Rights Reserved.