If you want to be taken by a man, be taken by God. If you want to take a woman, take God.

I realize some of you may not like the word God, so you could just as well substitute the word “love.” Some of you may be in same-sex relationships or you may choose to reverse traditional gender roles, in which case just substitute “man” or “woman” as you like. No matter what style of relationship you prefer these principles can apply.

So what might it mean to be taken by God? I will start with what I don’t mean, and ladies you can tell me if any of this sounds familiar…

• Having very specific pictures of how your life and relationship should be
• Trying to “fix” your man
• Holding on to the illusion of control by stuffing your feelings
• Resisting or refusing support or guidance

Guess what? Men are attracted to women who are open, expressive and receptive.

Guess what else? Men do appreciate when we’re open and receptive to them, but even better is that we’re open and receptive to life (and when we’re doing that it’s easy to be open to any one person anyway).

A woman whose life is full of wonder and adventure, who feels fully, is very attractive. A woman devoted to the God in her own heart, to love and to faith in something bigger than life’s little details has an easy time surrendering in love and attracting someone worthy of that surrender.

Guess what else? What the masculine most desires is not shiny hair or perky breasts or a great cook. It’s freedom.

Which is why lots of women try so hard on the external level and wonder why they still can’t keep a man. Which is why when we focus more on devotion to love itself, a specific man has more space to come forward than when we focus on him or our expectations specifically.

Yes, the external is important, but when a man feels our internal freedom, on some level he feels his own and he deeply relaxes. When he is not penned in, he wants to enter!

So men, what does it mean by “If you want to take a woman, take God”? As I mentioned, you could replace “God” with “love”… or even, in this case, with “life.”

If you are afraid of life you’ll be afraid of women, and they’ll be turned off by you. By living as if you might die tomorrow, you’ll realize what really matters and live your truth with courage. No woman would scare you, and they would find you irresistible!

Have you noticed that women love successful men? Men that go for their goals no matter what?

It’s not just about the money. Women love men that are fearlessly living their heart’s purpose, who are centered and in their power.

Because when men are strong inside, even if they don’t always do what we want, we can really relax. Ahh! So, men who bend over backwards to please women, please think again!

There is a little yin in the yang and yang in the yin, so you can follow all the “Rules” about being feminine or masculine and still miss something. For women, that something is having your internal freedom even while you are feminine on the outside.

For men, the secret is internal sensitivity. With enough sensitivity you can feel just what your woman needs and give her that in a masculine way. Otherwise you could be the strongest man and she’d be too irritated at your cluelessness to appreciate it.

For men and women alike, the key is in the heart, in love. Letting love lead no matter what.

For the feminine, letting love lead looks more like surrender, openness and vulnerability– with just enough discernment to choose what to open to. The Divine masculine feels into the heart (his and others’) and then acts fearlessly from inner strength.

The reason love feels so good is that we come together as two and remember the oneness we’ve been all along. If we were all the same, we might never be attracted enough to realize this, and that’s the fun of it! On the other hand, if we forgot love, we’d just be needy people drugging ourselves with externally-fulfilling relationships.

Let me know if I can help you sort out what’s going on in your relationships, or just discover how to live a life of greater love! I am excited at the evolution going on now for so many, and I am picturing a happy world of happy lovers!

We may have a week of warmth and sun followed by another snowstorm, so along with our enthusiasm this is also a time to be gentle and patient!

In Ayurveda, a mind-body health system from India, this time of year is considered to be “kapha” season. Kapha, one of the 3 primary mind-body types is associated with sweet, cool, moist energy. Kapha people tend to be solid and loving and they hold on to things– mentally, emotionally, & physically.

Some of us are naturally more kapha-like than others, but to some degree for each of us we can balance the kapha-dominance in our environment using foods and lifestyle choices. As this is often a wet, cool time of year where we feel the stagnation before the blooms of spring, we can support ourselves with foods and activities that are dry, warm, light, and energizing.

Some of the best foods at this time are bitter greens, and this is also a great time to undergo a cleanse. Greens (in food or supplement form) particularly support the liver, one of our primary organs of detoxification. See the “Ann Recommends” section below for supplement suggestions.

Let the warmer weather inspire you to get out and exercise to burn off the toxins and sluggishness of winter! Active, vigorous exercise is great for most of us at this time!

Along with physical cleansing, detox your emotions by searching your heart of any unforgiveness and let it go. Support your mind by writing down your fears and toxic beliefs, and turn each one into a positive affirmation which you can say, read &/ or listen to regularly!

Just as the deeper we exhale, the more room we have to fill ourselves with breath, the deeper we let go now the greater the payoff! Emptiness and fullness are one dancing as two. Blessings on your release and rebirth!

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copyright 2011 Ann O’Brien- All Rights Reserved.