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DO YOU HEAL MEN?

Submitted by on April 24, 2011 - 10:53 pm

If there were a 12-step program for this I could join. I can see it now… “Hi, I’m Ann O’Brien, and I heal men.”

For years I did it all the time, but didn’t know I was doing it. Then I figured it out, and I got pissed off.

It started with my Dad, then boyfriends, guy friends, guys I was interested in, guys I had subtle flirtations with, etc. I felt responsible for them and I took on their stuff unconsciously. I have always been a natural healer and entertainer, and that was my knee-jerk way of coping when the world around me didn’t feel good.

It was my story, and for a long time it was a “bad” story. Deep down, beneath my conscious awareness, I realized the power of this gift, but didn’t know what to do with it or if that would even be safe.

So I rejected it in myself and pushed away those who wanted it, but I didn’t even know I was rejecting something. I just felt frustrated a lot.

At the same time, I deep down wanted to give this gift and have it be received, but because I had pushed it down I didn’t even understand my own pain. I had no model for this.

At some point I figured out that I had been healing men all my life, and that I was unconsciously perpetuating and attracting these situations. It was uncomfortable but I was grateful for all my spiritual awareness finally, and I tried to stop doing it.

I learned techniques to help me. Even my spiritual teacher pointed out how this was happening, and suggested ways I could stop it.

Have you ever heard the saying that our greatest challenges in life are actually our greatest gifts? Or the suggestion to pay attention to our natural tendencies, because that is where our power is?

I have heard it but for so long didn’t connect the dots.

The problem was not what I was doing but the fact that I did it unconsciously, without acceptance, understanding, artistry and respect. And so it controlled me and caused problems for others– until I learned what I now understand.

Over the years I have been involved in many feminist or women’s groups, and I’m increasingly seeing a shift in power on the planet from men to women. And no one can argue that women have been historically wounded.

But guess what? Men have been wounded too.

When I look at the masculine structures on the planet that are crumbling, I see tremendous pain in those who are losing their long-held illusion of power and control. I listen to new-agey type conversations about empowering the Divine feminine and I feel sad to notice the masculine getting overlooked, blamed or judged.

When I help my female clients with relationships, I so often hear them complaining about men. They express things like “I’m fine; it’s my husband that needs to change.” Oh, if it were only that simple!

I hear women express superiority to men and then share how much they are yearning for a good man to come sweep them off their feet. Hmmm. And I SO want to help these women!

In reaction to the old model of being passive and helpless, many women have taken the feminist stance of feigning “independence” and embracing our power. Now of course we have power, but how are we using it?

Feminine power misused is no better than masculine power misused.

What will heal this whole thing is to co-create harmony, to open up a conversation so we can understand and support each other. For us all to recognize our unique gifts and power so we can stop projecting and start celebrating and sharing.

Just because masculine energy has dominated our politics, religions, economics and planet in general for so long does not mean this masculine energy has been healthy, happy and balanced. Far from it. If it were it would not have hurt so many and it would not be collapsing now.

So while I absolutely support the rise of the feminine, my vision is to see it rise in a balanced way, in harmony with the Divine masculine. Not just being ok with the more feminine men who don’t threaten us, but actually embracing masculine energy in men, in the world and in ourselves.

Now that we are starting to accept our feminine power, let’s use it to invite the masculine to step into his power too. Women, this is an art you can cultivate and if you don’t know how, I can help you.

It’s what most women– and men– deeply want. It’s a deep deep wound in the world.

This is not about sleeping around, not necessarily about sex at all. It is about being authentic in a way that brings out the best in men. Sometimes it helps him feel good, and even when it doesn’t do so immediately, it offers him space to choose and is ultimately a gift to all.

So much creativity and love get unleashed when the masculine and feminine unite in harmony and mutual respect. I realize many have feared this, and I have too.

But I see deeper now, and I am proud to say, “Hi, I’m Ann O’Brien, and I heal men.” In joy and gratitude for this opportunity and gift…

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Want to use this article in your E-Zine or Web Site? You can, as long as you use this complete tag with it: Intuitive Healer Ann O’Brien publishes the “Flowering Sol” email newsletter to help you blossom into your light. If you’re ready to open up your intuition and creative power to fulfill your dream life, get your free gifts at www.FloweringSol.com.

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copyright 2011 Ann O’Brien- All Rights Reserved.

HOW MUCH IS LOVE WORTH?

Submitted by on April 13, 2011 - 2:19 pm

One night, after dinner with a dear friend and her husband, she said, “Let’s tell stories.” Since she is an herbalist and seems to me a magician when it comes to anything connected with mother nature, I was shocked to hear what a terrible cook she was when they got married.

Coming from a family of good cooks, he really valued good food and did not want to prepare it.

So, they established a contest. He was looking for the “most improved cook” in their county and declared a $10,000 prize. Over the next year or 2, he judged the food and sure enough, she won, and he paid up.

“It was worth it,” he said. Later she joked that she also paid him in sex! Both of them seemed quite happy with this arrangement, not grasping out of need or controlling out of fear, but simply sharing what they each had to share and receiving in turn.

Another friend of mine has a business using her creative gifts to support the Divine feminine, and her husband is constantly posting on Facebook about all her successes. Beyond that, he often posts pictures and stories of practical things he does to support her business.

A client of mine had a breakthrough with her boyfriend. In the past few weeks since our previous session, she’d decided to claim her power in relationship with her boyfriend. This was not about power “over” him but instead about honoring herself and focusing on having a great life, rather than bending over backwards and then getting mad at him.

Suddenly, he changed to support her more, and she said she felt like she had him “on a leash.” I said something like, “Yes, you do. Now the trick is to use your power with love, for the good of all.” This is why most spiritual traditions teach ethics first!

The power of the feminine is unstoppable. Just imagine the amount of energy it takes to make a baby and we all have it!

Two areas the feminine excels in are the realms of emotion and energy. The masculine may give direction or structure but the feminine enlivens it with emotion and energy. This is what’s so attractive and powerful, but perhaps not as tangible.

Over history this feminine strength has been understood, and thus deeply feared and controlled. At the same time, due to the conflict between valuing and fearing it, it has been used rather than openly acknowledged.

All of this is changing now, and we can ride the new wave if we know how. The first step is to realize the power of our emotions and energy.

Daily I go out and overhear people complaining, venting and bonding over misery. While I believe it’s important to feel our feelings, I see that those who complain as a habit inevitably find they have more and more to complain about.

If you ever try affirmations you may notice they work when you feel them deeply, but not when you affirm you something you find boring. I’m totally domestic so I had an easy time manifesting a great house– which friends found miraculous, but when it comes to money for car repairs, forget it! :) -

No matter what you say or think you want, the Universe responds to your energetic broadcast. So, if you complain– and particularly if most everyone you’ve ever known complains as a means of connecting– you might deeply, unconsciously feel a need to complain as a matter of survival. Then the Universe responds and gives you problems- ugg!

This power in energy is part of the power of an  intuitive reading or healing. I often meet clients with very articulate lists of questions or desires who need help shifting the toxic, hidden energies in their subconscious. Then, seemingly out of nowhere things manifest!

So how do you feel your true feelings yet refrain from complaining? Time and time again I see people creating (and convincing themselves they are victim to) drama after drama just so they can feel a (usually long-repressed) feeling and be free of it.

The trick is to actually fully feel, which may seem like a scary black hole but in truth often frees us from the feeling in a very short time. In doing so we can avoid years or lifetimes of repeated dramas due to feelings repressed.

Our culture has agreed to repress feelings due to their power, but again the era of that is ending. And here is one extra bonus in doing this…

The most powerful feeling is not dissatisfaction, anger, fear, or anything else except… LOVE. So one loving thought will make up for a thousand complaints.

Ahhhh. None of us are perfect. But when we choose love, the Universe chooses us.

This is why one woman mastered cooking and sex and was supported for it. Another started a business and was supported for it. Another learned self-care in relationship and was supported for it.

What do you love, and what would you love to share? I dare you to offer it up and see how the Universe responds.

______________________________________________________

Want to use this article in your E-Zine or Web Site? You can, as long as you use this complete tag with it: Intuitive Healer Ann O’Brien publishes the “Flowering Sol” email newsletter to help you blossom into your light. If you’re ready to open up your intuition and creative power to fulfill your dream life, get your free gifts at www.FloweringSol.com.

____________________________________________________________

copyright 2011 Ann O’Brien- All Rights Reserved.