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HOLIDAY RELATIONSHIP TIPS

Submitted by on November 16, 2011 - 5:08 pm

Holidays highlight our relationships for better or worse. They can be joyous times or they can reveal our loneliness or family drama.

There is so much cultural programming about what the holidays “should” be, and we usually have our personal and family stories as well. What have your stories been?

Holidays are generally the domain of the feminine. The feminine thrives in relationship and wants to feel loved and connected.

A friend and I realized the other day that we had similar family stories. Then, I realized it wasn’t just us– it pertains to our entire generation.

Even though my friend and his siblings have all been out of the “nest” for over 20 years, their mother is still leaning on them. She was frustrated that, with Thanksgiving less than 2 weeks away, they hadn’t made plans with her yet. My friend understood her desire for family yet he felt pressured, smothered and manipulated.

It got me thinking that while in recent history the masculine has gotten a bad rap for being domineering, the feminine has been just as controlling in her own ways. As the distorted masculine power has expressed through aggression or imbalanced will, the un-healed feminine has used manipulation to get her needs met.

Even as recently as my Mother’s generation, these programs were hard-wired into both men and women. Not that they were bad people; it’s just been the survival game on the planet. And when it comes to survival, we can be very stubborn even in changing patterns that have long out-lived their usefulness.

In my childhood, my Mother had to have Christmas at our house, according to very specific rituals that started a month ahead. She cried if she didn’t get the gifts she wanted, or if the rest of us didn’t like our gifts.

Once my Dad decided we were all going skiing in Utah for Christmas.” Everyone else loved it but my mother obviously sulked.

After so many years of this, I grew older and moved away then didn’t want to go “home” for Christmas anymore. Not that I didn’t love my Mother; quite the contrary. I just wanted more breathing room for my own experience, my own joy.

The Mother energy is the energy of giving life as well as sustenance. When we share connection and nourishment– which we do over the holidays– we all tap into this energy.

So let’s be aware this holiday season of the original impuse for love and connection. We all have this and we all have a Mother.

Probably, we wanted this with our mothers and to the degree we did not experience it, we resisted and then became whatever we got instead. Are you laughing yet?

The control games that have run rampant on the planet are changing. This changing game is impacting our finances, our intimate relationships and more.

We can listen to the news or talk politics all day, but where this is really going to change is when we can look inside and at our close relationships and shift the game there.

Control kills the possiblity for life and creativity. As we become aware of where we have sought love and experienced control, we can see where we got hooked and breathe into our original desire for love.

In fact, our true nature is love. Control and security may look alike at first glance. Look again.

This holiday season, let’s realize our true natures and find security in our authenticity with each other. There, we can truly trust. There, we can truly, deeply connect.

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Want to use this article in your E-Zine or Web Site? You can, as long as you use this complete tag with it: Intuitive Healer Ann O’Brien publishes the “Flowering Sol” email newsletter to help you blossom into your light. If you’re ready to open up your intuition and creative power to fulfill your dream life, get your free gifts at www.FloweringSol.com.

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copyright 2011 Ann O’Brien- All Rights Reserved.

HOW’S YOUR PSYCHIC SELF-CARE?

Submitted by on November 4, 2011 - 8:11 am

I always know when I need a little energy tune-up. My body and relationships start to feel heavy and stuck and I don’t feel my joy as much.

I am grateful though, for all the joy I have felt in my life, because if I didn’t know what it felt like, I would never know when I was off-track. I remember years back when I didn’t know the difference.

Then, I thought feeling heavy and stuck was my “normal” state of being. So much so, that I didn’t even think my energy was heavy and stuck. I only see it now in pictures and when I remember it. Little did I know!

I am also grateful that I never get off track for too long, because I also know what to do to shift it. And, I have enough practice and support to make it easy to do those things, and not just think about them. :)

It’s hard to learn and sustain new habits when no one is there to hold us accountable, to cheer us on, and to practice with. We are human and we want connection. Without it, we give up more easily.

More and more, we are meant to learn and grow together. I would never have trusted my intuition if I didn’t have a supportive space to practice, and people telling me over and over, “You’re right on,” when I gave a reading.

Now, I don’t need that, but I did at first.

In my early 20′s I devoted 2 hours a day to spiritual practice, and I became vegan and severely restricted my diet. After 6 months of that, I got sick and gave it all up for awhile. After months of tofu, brown rice and chanting, I took antibiotics and ate a bagel and cream cheese and it seemed like the best thing on earth.

Why was I so strict in the first place?

Well, on some level I knew I had gifts and I wanted to develop them. On the other hand, I did it because I was pissed off.

I was fed up with feeling everyone else’s stuff and not hearing my own inner voice. I wanted to feel my freedom and I wanted to feel like my life was mine.

Somehow, I knew that the more I could do that, the better I could love and be loved. Deep down, my desire for love made me take on other people’s stuff. But becuase I didn’t like the result, I pushed away my true desire with all the “stuff”.

All that would make anyone sick!

I don’t want you to have to go through these things.

When we pick up feelings or thoughts from other people, we can never process them but only store them. It makes us crazy when we try, especially when we don’t know we’re doing it (which is most of the time).

All that time I felt heavy and stuck was because I was trying to solve problems and heal feelings that weren’t mine. The more I tried, the more stuck I got, and the worse I felt about myself.

My desire for love got me in and my desire for love got me out of that mess. Oh, love is a powerful thing!

Once I sought out support and training, it all turned around. Once I practiced simple daily exercises (like games of imagination, basically) to clear and circulate my energy it was like I could see straight again.

I’d love to support you…

If you feel like you feel things for other people, if you’re struggling to hear and trust your inner voice, or if you feel alone with your spirituality and need a spark for your inner light, please reach out and let’s talk about the “Psychic Self Care” Program.

I am accepting a small group and setting up the structure for this program now, and we’ll begin soon. Contact me to request a spot (no obligation) and let’s see if this is a good fit for everyone!

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Want to use this article in your E-Zine or Web Site? You can, as long as you use this complete tag with it: Intuitive Healer Ann O’Brien publishes the “Flowering Sol” email newsletter to help you blossom into your light. If you’re ready to open up your intuition and creative power to fulfill your dream life, get your free gifts at www.FloweringSol.com.

____________________________________________________________

copyright 2011 Ann O’Brien- All Rights Reserved.